This is a comprehensive summary of “The Montessori Toddler” by Simone Davies. The book explores a parent's guide to raising a curious and responsible human being.

what’s in it for me? understand and support your child throughout their toddler years.#

Introduction

simone davies, the montessori toddler, a parent's guide to raising a curious and responsible human being have you ever wondered why toddlers act the way they do?

or found yourself frustrated that you can't seem to connect with your child and get them to listen to what you're telling them?

the montessori toddler focuses on understanding toddlers in a new way and encouraging them to explore the world around them by trying to grasp their perspective on things.

while toddlers have been labeled as a group that doesn't listen and pushes boundaries until it drives their parents up the wall, simone davies argues that children between 18 months and 3 years old are greatly misunderstood and are merely discovering the world in a way that makes sense to them.

this chapter will teach you how to help your toddler discover and build the skills they need to thrive as they grow into the people they'll become.

exploring what works and what doesn’t#

if you're a millennial parent, there's a good chance you've played a linear side-scrolling game, such as super mario bros.

over the course of the game, you discovered new tools to help you get through the game, found out what secrets were hidden in the levels, and faced different challenges that taught you how to handle tougher sections of the game.

eventually, you gained mastery of the game, and the earlier levels that once seemed impossible became much easier to handle.

toddlers are going through a similar situation as they learn to navigate the world around them.

when a toddler seems to be pushing a boundary with you, they're discovering that some things are negotiable, and some things won't necessarily go their way.

when they ask for you to play the same song 20 times in a row, they're trying to make sure that they understand it perfectly.

unlike a video game, toddlers don't have any specific checkpoint that automatically moves them on to a more difficult section of life.

they move on to new challenges when they feel ready for them, and they don't mind taking their time to learn as much as they can about the world.

this is the concept of self-mastery at work.

davies argues that toddlers are experts at figuring out new concepts when they have the freedom to discover at their own pace.

this doesn't mean a completely hands-off, laissez-faire approach.

it means providing guidance when toddlers ask for it, while allowing them to discover their world for themselves.

davies posits that parents can and should set guidelines for important things, while allowing their toddler some freedom to act as they see fit within those guidelines.

this gives the toddler a baseline to learn in a safe environment.

encouraging growth and curiosity in sensitive periods#

encouraging growth and curiosity in sensitive periods if toddlers discover things at their own pace, it only makes sense for them to come to their interests on their own, too.

it's the adult's responsibility only to encourage toddlers when they show interest in gaining new skills.

one great example is when toddlers start to discover the world around them and take interest in plants, animals, and other things found outdoors.

adults can offer encouragement in this early interest in science by taking the time to explore some of the areas around their own home with their toddler.

as toddlers become more familiar with the plants and creatures around their own homes, adults can expand that growth with visits to the public park or zoo to build on the knowledge of the environment that the toddler has already acquired.

this works because the brain is incredibly absorbent through the first six years of a child's life.

during this time, children can gain skills rapidly without even thinking about it, making it much easier to learn whatever interests them.

if a child has developed a real interest in a specific topic, it's a sign that their brain is ready to explore that topic on their own level.

it's good practice for parents to follow the child's lead in letting them discover it themselves.

this builds on the exploration idea that we touched upon earlier.

when toddlers' curiosity and growth are encouraged, they're not being rushed to meet a milestone simply because of an arbitrary deadline.

they're allowed to go at their own pace and discover the topic in a way that makes sense to them.

they're able to ask questions and take as much time as they need to explore as deeply as they desire.

they can go at their own pace and be allowed to make their own mistakes, as long as their mistakes don't harm themselves or others.

they're also able to decide for themselves whether they want or need help, and parents then offer help only when the child desires it.

by operating in this manner, parents can convey to their children that they trust them to figure things out for themselves, and that they'll be there to provide assistance for them should they become stuck on an unfamiliar concept.

developing appropriate activities for toddlers and family members toddlers love to do things for themselves, even things that many adults might find boring or unenjoyable.

developing appropriate activities for toddlers and family members#

while developing the montessori method, dr. montessori noticed that her class members genuinely wanted to help take care of the classroom.

so, she believed in giving toddlers some responsibilities once they had the motor skills and knowledge to handle them with minimal help.

activities for toddlers to engage in that are age and skill appropriate allow them to gain a better appreciation for their home and the role they play in helping care for it.

when it comes to which activities they're ready to try, it should be the child that leads.

as long as they're using the provided tools appropriately, they should be allowed to spend as much time as they like with the activity, even if they make mistakes in what they're attempting to do.

parents should only step in when the child asks for help or is using objects in a way that might harm them, someone else, or the object itself.

in preparation for this, parents should provide toddlers with tools that they're willing to clean up themselves and nothing else.

this minimizes the potential for mayhem should things go wrong.

davies encourages parents to eliminate closed-ended questions from their vocabulary.

these only allow the child to be either right or wrong.

while right answers and positive reinforcement can help children build confidence, wrong answers in a forced situation can be detrimental.

instead, parents should continue discussing objects and naming them with the child to let the child choose when they're ready for the next step.

for example, if a child has been successfully identifying shapes on their own, parents could then encourage a child to tell them what a similar shape is so that they can make the connection and build their self-confidence.

developing the home to provide a nurturing environment during their exploration stages and attempts to master different tasks of life, toddlers inevitably engage in inappropriate behavior.

developing the home to provide a nurturing environment#

one of the best things parents can do is redirect their child to a more appropriate activity that helps express their actions in a non-destructive way.

for example, if a child is throwing all their toys on a hard surface, parents can bring them over to a carpeted area or provide them with soft toys that won't hurt anything should the child throw them.

if the child is banging an object on the wall repeatedly, a parent might give them a toy drum set so they can learn to hit things appropriately while understanding that not everything is something to hit against a hard surface.

one suggestion is to set up different areas of the home to encourage different skills and provide the materials children need to play and explore appropriately.

parents can set up one part of the home for crafting and provide only a few supplies that the child is ready to use correctly, while another can be a quiet area meant for looking at books and calming down.

parents can further encourage the child to use these areas appropriately by making them welcoming to someone of their size and skills.

for example, parents might set up child-sized furniture and wall fixtures so that children can put things in their proper place without a need to ask for help every step of the way.

by providing appropriate places for children to express their creativity and develop their understanding, parents can position themselves to say yes to their child's desire for exploration because all items are being used appropriately.

managing changes in an appropriate manner that children can understand#

managing changes in an appropriate manner that children can understand think back to the mario game.

the early levels all looked and felt pretty familiar when you were first playing the game.

then you moved on to a new world and suddenly, the game looked completely different.

a new environment presented itself, with new challenges to discover.

but it wasn't a big adjustment for you.

you'd seen things change drastically many times before.

toddlers go through a similar experience when they have new concepts introduced to them, but their brains haven't developed enough yet to simply accept those changes as they are.

as such, they have a harder time reacting appropriately when their routine is thrown off by something completely unexpected.

toddlers are mostly creatures of habit because they're in the mastery stage, and they're taking as long as they feel they need to completely grasp a new skill or concept.

when this gets thrown off by an outside force, they might have a negative reaction because they don't understand how to handle it.

because of this, parents should set some firm ground rules that will only be changed in rare circumstances, if ever.

when changes do need to be made, parents should explain to the child why something different is happening this time, and provide understanding to the child's feelings if they have difficulty with the change.

many toddlers want to feel like they understand what's going to happen throughout most of the day, and using a few clear ground rules can help give them that sense of order that dictates the rest of their day.

accepting children and the role of the adult in effectively guiding toddlers accepting children for who they are doesn't mean accepting all of their behaviors in all situations.

accepting children and the role of the adult in effectively guiding toddlers#

it means trying to gain a perspective as to why they have the behaviors they do and what can be done when a child engages in inappropriate behavior.

most of us know that a tantrum in public isn't considered acceptable, but to the child, it can seem like the only way to let out their frustrations.

instead of getting upset with the child or punishing them, parents can offer understanding and try to translate the behavior in a way that both parent and child can understand.

in a case where the child is having a tantrum, parents can ask the toddler if there's something that they're trying to tell them so they can understand what's going on in a more appropriate way.

remember, even though the average toddler only uses around 200 words by age two, they understand about five times as many words when adults use them, even if they don't use them themselves.

so toddlers might not know how to use the words they need in a certain situation, which can lead to frustration.

as parents, part of accepting toddlers for who they are is to translate for them when they need assistance.

giving feedback instead of praise builds on this principle.

when toddlers hear specific feedback from adults, they can incorporate it and gain a better understanding of what exactly they did.

a good example of this is when children present their parents with a painting they've done.

when parents say, good job, the child gains no understanding of what they've done or why it's good.

when parents give feedback instead of praise, such as telling the child that they liked their use of red, the child gets a better understanding of what exactly they've done and gets ideas of how they can build on that.

one thing that accepting children means is accepting their personalities when they engage in appropriate behavior.

some children are naturally more outgoing and talkative around other people than others.

as long as the child isn't engaging in harmful behavior, there's nothing wrong with either case.

accepting children as they are means allowing them to be themselves while guiding them toward building the skills they'll develop on their path to maturity.

final summary#

Conclusion

the main takeaway of the montessori toddler by simone davies is that making an effort to understand your toddler and how the world makes sense to them can help you do a better job of providing them with the tools they need to develop their skills positively.

by letting them take the lead on their growth and listening for when they need help, you can gently guide them toward building their confidence and discovering the world around them at their own pace.

this allows them to truly master their skills in a way that feels comfortable to both parent and child.

thanks so much for taking the time to listen.

we appreciate your feedback, so be sure to leave a rating or comment on your experience.

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