The Baby Book

your baby looks to you for comfort, warmth, and security – and how you respond to them shapes their world. babies thrive when their needs for closeness, comfort, and connection are met consistently. this is the foundation of attachment parenting – a nurturing approach that emphasizes early bonding, responsiveness to a baby’s cues, and maintaining a close physical and emotional connection. by holding, feeding, and comforting your baby in a way that respects their unique needs, you’re meeting their immediate demands while also supporting their long-term emotional and cognitive development.

in this chapter, you’ll learn how to create a strong bond with your newborn from the very first moments, why breastfeeding benefits both mother and baby, and how babywearing can make life easier while promoting healthy development. you’ll also explore gentle sleep strategies, the importance of responsive caregiving, and how to support your baby’s growing independence in the toddler years – all while maintaining a deep and loving connection.

the moment your baby is born, everything changes. the long months of waiting are over, and in an instant, you have a newborn in your arms. these first moments set the stage for your baby’s sense of security, comfort, and connection. skin-to-skin contact immediately after birth is one of the most important things you can do. holding your baby against your chest helps regulate body temperature, stabilizes breathing, and encourages the first attempts at breastfeeding. newborns instinctively seek their mother’s breast, and early sucking soothes your baby and stimulates oxytocin, a hormone that helps your uterus contract and reduces postpartum bleeding.

the first hour after birth, often called the golden hour, is an essential time for uninterrupted bonding. research shows that babies who remain in close contact with their parents adjust more easily, cry less, and have a smoother transition to life outside the womb. the american academy of pediatrics recommends delaying routine procedures like weighing, measuring, and administering vitamin k until after the first feeding. this ensures that your baby’s first experiences are of warmth, connection, and security rather than unnecessary stress.

this bonding continues in the days and weeks that follow. keeping your baby close, learning to read their cues, and responding to their needs all help build a secure attachment. if early separation is necessary, such as in the case of a cesarean birth or medical complications, there are still plenty of opportunities to build a strong connection, like having the father hold the baby, ensuring early skin-to-skin contact, or maintaining a visual and touch connection even in the operating room. this strengthens the bond and helps both parents feel more confident.

these early interactions will lay the foundation for your baby’s emotional and physical well-being. by focusing on closeness, warmth, and responsiveness from the very beginning, you give your newborn the best possible start to life.

a newborn’s early weeks are full of surprises. just as they’re adjusting to life outside the womb, you’re adjusting to life as a parent. understanding what’s normal can help you respond with confidence and ease.

newborns breathe in irregular patterns, sometimes even pausing for a few seconds before resuming. while this can be alarming at first, it’s part of their natural development. noisy breathing, sneezing, and occasional gagging are also common as they clear tiny nasal passages and adjust to breathing air. if your baby sounds congested, it’s often due to lint, dust, or milk residue – not a cold. keeping their environment free from irritants like smoke and perfumes can help them breathe more comfortably.

feeding changes a baby’s digestion quickly. the first stools are black and sticky, transitioning to a mustard-yellow, soft consistency in breastfed babies, while formula-fed babies have firmer, darker stools. frequent bowel movements are typical at first, though some breastfed babies may go a day or two without one.

spitting up is part of life with a newborn, and nothing to be immediately worried about. try feeding in a more upright position, burping frequently, and avoiding jostling after feeds. if spit-up is green, forceful, or accompanied by weight loss, it’s time to call a doctor.

your baby’s skin will go through changes too – flaky patches, tiny bumps, and even acne-like spots are all temporary. some birthmarks fade with time, while others will remain. if a rash appears around the diaper area, changing diapers frequently, letting the skin breathe, and using a barrier cream can help prevent irritation.

understanding these common concerns allows you to focus on what truly matters – getting to know your baby and responding with care. the early weeks pass quickly, and soon, many of these worries will be behind you.

breastfeeding is one of the most effective ways to nourish and protect a baby, providing everything they need to grow while also supporting a mother’s recovery. it’s a deeply personal choice, and while it offers unmatched benefits, it isn’t always possible or the right fit for every family. understanding how it works and how to manage common concerns can make breastfeeding easier and more rewarding.

your body efficiently prioritizes milk production, drawing from nutrient stores to provide for both you and your baby. you’ll need an extra 300 to 500 calories a day, but quality matters. a diet rich in whole grains, lean proteins, and healthy fats maintains energy and supports milk production. calcium is essential, but despite common concerns, breastfeeding doesn’t weaken bones – women who breastfeed usually regain bone density after weaning, often ending up stronger than before pregnancy. omega-3s in breast milk, especially dha, support brain development. eating oily fish or taking a supplement ensures your baby gets enough.

some foods may cause fussiness or discomfort in babies, often within hours of eating them. dairy, caffeine, and certain vegetables are common triggers. if you notice a pattern, eliminating the suspected food for two weeks can help pinpoint the issue. most medications, including ibuprofen and common antibiotics, are safe while breastfeeding, but when unsure, consult a doctor who understands lactation rather than weaning unnecessarily.

balancing breastfeeding with daily life takes preparation. drinking plenty of water, wearing comfortable nursing-friendly clothing, and having a reliable breast pump can make the process smoother. many mothers continue breastfeeding after returning to work by pumping on a schedule and nursing in the evenings and on weekends.

with the right approach, breastfeeding can be flexible and sustainable. even with challenges, it remains one of the most effective ways to nourish and connect with your baby.

in bali, babies don’t touch the ground for the first six months of life. instead, they are carried by their parents or family members throughout the day, kept close in a way that meets their needs for security, comfort, and connection. this approach is an instinctive way of caring for a baby that has existed for centuries. carrying your baby for extended periods leads to a calmer, happier infant while making daily life easier for you.

babies who are carried tend to cry less. a study found that infants held for at least three hours a day fussed 43% less than those who weren’t. the motion of being carried mimics the womb experience, creating a sense of security that helps regulate your baby’s emotions, sleep, and even digestion. wearing your baby also keeps them in a state of quiet alertness, the optimal condition for learning. instead of lying passively in a crib or stroller, a carried baby is constantly observing, hearing conversations, and engaging with the world. this exposure supports language development, cognitive growth, and early social skills.

babywearing also strengthens your bond with your baby. keeping them close stimulates the release of oxytocin, reinforcing your natural caregiving instincts and helping you feel more in tune with their cues. it can also make breastfeeding more convenient. a well-designed sling allows you to nurse discreetly while on the move, reducing stress for both you and your baby.

that’s why choosing the right carrier matters. a sling-style carrier tends to be the most versatile, offering different positions as your baby grows while evenly distributing their weight. and safety is key – your baby’s face should always be visible and high enough for you to kiss their head.

babywearing is about responding to the baby’s needs while giving you the freedom to go about your day. whether calming a fussy newborn, managing life with multiple children, or navigating daily tasks, keeping your baby close can make parenting easier and more rewarding.

ever heard someone say they “slept like a baby” after a good night’s sleep? as any new parent will tell you, this saying isn’t always accurate – infant sleep is far more complex. unlike adults, babies don’t slip into deep sleep right away. instead, they begin in a light sleep phase that lasts about twenty minutes before entering deeper sleep. if you put your baby down too soon, they’re likely to wake up. their sleep cycles are also much shorter, about an hour, meaning they naturally wake more often during the night. frequent waking isn’t a flaw in their development – it’s how they’re designed. waking ensures they can signal for warmth, comfort, or food when they need it, which may even be a built-in safeguard against sudden infant death syndrome, or sids.

the expectation that babies should sleep through the night is based more on parental exhaustion than on biological reality. sleep training methods that encourage leaving babies to cry ignore the fact that nighttime parenting is just as important as daytime care. babies don’t learn independence by being left alone at night; they learn security from consistent, comforting responses. the belief that letting babies cry it out teaches them to sleep on their own is misleading. studies show that prolonged distress increases stress hormones, which can affect brain development. babies who are soothed when they wake develop healthier long-term sleep habits.

instead of trying to force sleep, your goal should be to create an environment where sleep naturally happens. babies who are held often during the day, fed on demand, and have consistent bedtime routines tend to sleep better. nursing to sleep, rocking, or using a rhythmic motion like a sling or stroller can all help settle your baby. white noise, a warm bath, or sleeping close to you may also prevent frequent waking. where your baby sleeps is a personal decision – some sleep best in a crib, while others sleep more soundly next to a parent. the best arrangement is the one that allows everyone to get the most rest. night waking is a stage, not a problem to fix, and it won’t last forever.

a baby doesn’t grow in isolation. every developmental milestone is shaped by the interactions they have with you. the more responsive and engaging that your care is, the smoother their progression from one stage to the next will be. but growth isn’t just about your baby – it’s about both of you. as they develop new skills, you become more attuned to their needs, their cues, and their personality. this mutual learning process builds a strong foundation for communication, trust, and a deeper connection.

the way you and your baby interact from birth plays a direct role in their development. babies aren’t passive recipients of care – they actively shape the way you parent, just as you shape their behavior. a newborn cries to signal discomfort, and as you respond, they refine their communication, moving from crying to gestures and facial expressions. this process strengthens their social and emotional skills while helping you become more confident in reading and responding to their needs.

parenting styles have a measurable impact on how babies grow. research consistently shows that attachment parenting – characterized by responsive caregiving, breastfeeding on cue, babywearing, and co-sleeping – supports optimal brain development and emotional well-being. babies raised with this approach tend to cry less, have better social skills, and even show cognitive advantages. their ability to trust their environment allows them to focus more on learning rather than stress.

a striking example of this is the shutdown syndrome, where a previously thriving baby becomes withdrawn and less interactive when caregivers shift to a less responsive parenting style. when parents are encouraged to return to nurturing, attentive care, their baby’s development quickly resumes. this highlights how essential consistency and responsiveness are in the early years.

each baby develops at their own pace, and growth isn’t always linear. some progress steadily, while others experience spurts and pauses. instead of comparing your child to others, focus on their individual development and trust the natural process. you should be growing alongside them – learning, adapting, and deepening your bond every step of the way.

one moment, your baby is happy to sit in one spot; the next, they’re on the move, exploring everything in sight. the transition from babyhood to toddlerhood is fueled by three major developments: walking, talking, and thinking. with each step, word, and discovery, your child gains independence – but they still need your support.

toddlers quickly go from wobbly steps to running, climbing, and jumping. every fall is followed by determined attempts to try again. walking itself becomes a game, with spinning, stomping, and exaggerated steps. this newfound mobility brings endless curiosity – buttons must be pressed, drawers emptied, and every object examined. close supervision becomes essential as they test boundaries.

language development adds another layer of independence. while speech lags behind comprehension, toddlers understand more than they can say. their early words are simple – “mama,” “no,” “ball” – but they quickly absorb new vocabulary, often mimicking sounds and gestures. even before they speak in full sentences, they communicate through pointing, tugging, and expressive sounds. engaging in these early “conversations” helps strengthen their language skills.

with independence comes emotional ups and downs. toddlers eagerly explore but still need reassurance. excitement can quickly turn to frustration when they realize they can’t do everything alone. tantrums are common as they test limits, but predictable routines and calm, clear communication provide security.

growth slows compared to the first year, and so does appetite. picky eating is normal, and rather than forcing meals, offering a variety of foods while letting them decide how much to eat helps build a healthy relationship with food.

this stage is full of rapid change, challenges, and joy. by providing a safe space to explore, responding to their communication, and setting loving boundaries, you help your toddler grow with confidence while staying closely connected to you.

the main takeaway of this chapter to the baby book by william sears is that a secure, loving connection with your baby lays the foundation for lifelong emotional well-being. 

by responding to their needs with warmth and attentiveness – through bonding, breastfeeding, babywearing, and gentle sleep practices – you build trust and confidence in both your baby and yourself. parenting is a learning process, but with a responsive approach, you can nurture a happy, healthy child while strengthening your own instincts and connection.

okay, that’s it for this chapter. we hope you enjoyed it. if you can, please take the time to leave us a rating – we always appreciate your feedback. see you in the next chapter.