Sell Like A Spy

jeremy hurewitz, sell like a spy, the art of persuasion from the world of espionage.

when it comes to the world of spies and espionage, we've all been influenced to one degree or another by tv and movies.

there's no shortage of stories involving bonds and borns who are practically superhuman in their ability to save the world and look good while doing it.

but as we'll see in this chapter, the real world of espionage is actually closer to the world of sales than the imagination of hollywood.

spies, much like skilled salespeople, excel in influencing people and understanding their motivations.

what makes a successful spy aren't guns and tuxedos, it's empathy, strategic communication, and relationship building.

these are, of course, the valuable tools that every salesperson should have as well.

so let's take a look at how the tools of spycraft can be used to help win over clients and navigate some tricky business dynamics.

be convincing, not coercive while many of us picture spies as being charismatic james bond types, the reality is much more grounded.

most spies or case officers, as they're known in the business, are intentionally average-looking, blending into their surroundings to better connect with people.

in fact, it's their ability to form genuine, lasting relationships, not their flashy heroics.

that makes them successful.

likewise, many of the most successful case officers aren't even extroverts.

a quieter, more self-reflective approach is considered an asset.

it helps people feel comfortable enough to open up and confide.

being a good listener, being empathetic, these are some of the superpowers of real spies.

in the real world of espionage, case officers recruit agents.

these are the people who steal information and take risks.

but the recruitment process isn't about coercion or intimidation.

it's about building trust.

someone who's forced into being an agent will always resent you and look for a way out.

so instead, spies focus on understanding what motivates their targets, whether it's money, educational opportunities for family members, or dissatisfaction with their own government.

the lesson here?

spies convince.

they don't coerce.

this is where the world of espionage and salespeople meet.

in both professions, it's all about listening, building connections, and establishing trust.

that's how you get results.

so, convincing an agent or a client to work with you starts by gaining intel.

in other words, understanding their needs and what drives them.

spies often compare their jobs to being a psychiatrist, spending hours talking with and truly getting to know their agents.

it's not always easy.

many of these people can be criminals or unpleasant officials from hostile governments.

yet spies practice what the author calls radical empathy.

they find something human and relatable in even the most distasteful person.

for salespeople, this means working past the arrogance or dismissiveness of a tough client to find that common ground.

one cia officer had to make a connection with a high-ranking official from an oppressive regime, a regime with a truly poor human rights record.

the cia officer didn't like this guy, but it was his job to find a way to start a relationship.

he did this by bringing up an obscure syrian philosopher that they both admired.

this connection built trust, leading to valuable cooperation.

sales professionals may not have to win over a lot of militant extremists, but the correlation is the same.

you need to find that common thread.

don't be afraid to open up, be vulnerable and share personal details.

bonding over family matters is a tried-and-true way of breaking down barriers and turning even the toughest prospects into allies.

ultimately, sales, like spying, is about mastering the art of connection.

by practicing radical empathy, staying authentic, and building real relationships, you can stand out in a crowded market and turn prospects into loyal clients.

knowing what to say and how to listen right now, you may not think of yourself as a great conversationalist or a social butterfly, but these are skills that, like any other, get better the more you put them to use.

by making these techniques part of your day-to-day routine, you will be on your way to building meaningful connections and gathering important information without being too obvious about it.

one fundamental technique is known as elicitation, which is the art of subtly obtaining information without making it feel like an interrogation.

instead of direct questioning, elicitation is all about using prompts that get your target to open up.

for example, human beings have an innate desire to correct someone when they've said something wrong, so you can take advantage of this by suggesting something you suspect to be incorrect in order to trigger a correction that reveals the desired information.

a spy at a dinner party might say, i think we have something in common because i heard that thai food is your favorite.

the person will naturally feel the need to speak up and reveal the truth about their favorite food without realizing they've been prompted.

this technique can be applied professionally, too.

let's say you're trying to find out if a client's going to renew their contract.

you might say you've heard a rumor that the last quarter didn't go well and that budget cuts might be on the way.

you can even end this prompt with a nice message like, let me know if there's any way i can be of help.

this will likely get your client to open up and get a fruitful conversation going.

active listening also plays a critical role.

in sales or in life, people who truly listen, engage, and remember names, phrases, or behaviors build trust and rapport faster.

but good listening isn't just about being quiet.

it's about being present and showing genuine interest.

simple tricks like not fidgeting and making strong eye contact for three or four seconds at a time can help.

but if you find stillness and being present difficult, using yoga or meditation can also help build this important muscle.

another classic technique is known as mirroring.

when you mirror the physical and verbal mannerism of your conversation partner, it strengthens your connection by signaling empathy.

whether it's copying body language or using key phrases they like, these little cues will subconsciously convey that you're on the same page.

by practicing these subtle techniques in your everyday interactions, you will see for yourself how they can help you gather valuable information and build stronger relationships.

observing with purpose atmosphere and intangibles.

that sounds like spy stuff, doesn't it?

but all it's really referring to is the importance of paying attention to the small stuff.

just as atmosphere and intangibles are always on the mind of a successful spy, a salesperson can greatly improve their game by being attuned to the subtle dynamics at play when interacting with potential clients.

let's say you're in a meeting and you notice that the managing director is completely checked out and not paying attention, but another member on their team is engaged and asking thoughtful questions.

this should tell you who is really holding the decision-making power.

great salespeople like spies are keen observers.

everything from how clients dress to how their office is decorated provides clues about what matters to them.

these insights can tell you how best to proceed with your sales pitch, as well as open up new possibilities in forming connections and deeper bonds.

for instance, if you walk into a modest, sparsely decorated office, this might suggest that a value-driven pitch will resonate best.

on the other hand, stepping into a luxurious office space suggests that delivering the premium pitch, the one that says you're getting the best of the best, is what'll get their attention.

like intelligence officers, salespeople need to capture details about clients' personal preferences, habits, and behaviors.

this information can give you an edge in understanding how to approach them and what motivates them.

this means taking notes and making sure you remember these details and how to apply what you've learned at the next opportunity.

this doesn't mean you should have your head in a notebook during an entire meeting.

jotting down the occasional shorthand note should suffice, but you can also take a page from the cia playbook and have a dedicated note-taker with you during meetings so that you can stay present and engaged at all times.

spies also do their homework.

they go into a meeting knowing things like cultural contexts, whether regional, national, or organizational, as these will always play a crucial role in forming strong client relationships.

it's also important to reiterate that this shouldn't translate into pandering or lying to your client just to get on their good side.

your honesty and trustworthiness are key to your success.

just as spies are guided by a strict code of ethics in dangerous missions, sales teams should align with the values of their organizations in order to stand out from the competition.

making a sale is often about far more than just the product.

it's about understanding people, their culture, and the unseen dynamics at play.

negotiate for the best outcome.

negotiation is a big part of sales, but it's also the primary skill that fbi hostage negotiators are known for.

for them, discussing a tense situation is all about active listening and maintaining likability.

that means keeping the other person calm, avoiding unnecessary conflict, and guiding them toward cooperation.

the same holds true in business negotiations or a personal disagreement with a friend.

likability isn't just about being charming.

it's about being genuinely engaged and interested in the other person's perspective.

when someone feels heard, they're much more likely to cooperate.

deescalating a difficult situation involves a few key strategies.

first, allowing someone to vent their frustrations without interruption gives them space to feel acknowledged.

this can diffuse their anger on its own.

then using techniques like emotional labeling, it sounds like you're upset because invalidating their feelings can create an atmosphere of understanding.

asking projection questions like, what would a successful outcome look like to you, further engages the other person, turning them from a combative counterpart into a collaborative problem solver.

this approach also gives the person a chance to reflect on their own unreasonableness, potentially calming them down.

whether you're dealing with an angry client, a difficult colleague, or even someone in a crisis, the principles of negotiation and diffusing conflict remain the same.

listen, empathize, and focus on a positive outcome for both sides.

before we move on, there are some verbal signs that can tell you if someone is being deceptive.

let's say someone in the office is being suspected of stealing a few hundred dollars from the petty cash drawer.

let's call him larry.

if you ask larry, did you take the petty cash?

and his response is to avoid the question by saying something like, i would never do anything to endanger my job.

that's cause for concern.

avoiding the question like that isn't proof positive of guilt, but it does suggest deceptive behavior.

there are other responses to look out for, such as an exaggerated denial like, i swear on my mother's grave that i didn't take it.

the same goes if he starts acting coy and qualifying the question with a lot of preamble along the lines of, i thought you might ask me that.

now let me tell you something.

in general, the most innocent answer is the most straightforward one.

no, i didn't take the money.

but even among spies and law enforcement, there are no 100% accurate methods for detecting lies, only signs of possible deception to be aware of.

now getting someone to confess is a different matter.

the fbi has a useful tactic called rpm for rationalize, project, and minimize.

in this situation, you would start by rationalizing with larry, maybe telling him that you know he's been going through a rough time.

what with the recent divorce and all.

then you project by saying it was friday night.

he probably just wanted to blow off some steam.

it's understandable.

then minimize the consequences by telling him that given all of the circumstances, if he just confessed, we could work together to put this behind us.

this approach is valuable when trying to avoid defensive reactions in delicate business or legal situations.

these strategies aren't just for interrogation rooms.

they are powerful tools to navigate difficult conversations, improve negotiations, and build cooperative relationships in everyday life.

using your superpower unlike some of the other hollywood tropes from spy movies, disguises are something that actually get used every day.

sometimes case officers are meeting with an agent at a local area where someone they know might see them.

so changing their appearance can be crucial for the meeting to go off without a hitch.

but disguises serve more than one purpose.

and for a salesperson, it can be a matter of stepping into someone else's shoes in order to navigate a challenging situation.

so think of a disguise in a more metaphorical sense.

to adapt your behavior and attitude to meet the moment, much like how actors embody different roles.

for the author, it's about conjuring up one of his two favorite fictional characters, don draper or roger sterling from the tv show, mad men.

in case you're unfamiliar, don draper is the head of creative at an ad agency and a king at pitching brilliant ideas.

roger sterling, on the other hand, was the king at wooing clients and keeping them happy.

both are charismatic in their own way.

but while don is enigmatic and serious, roger is gregarious and personable.

in many of us, there is both a don and a roger.

so crushing the meeting is a matter of identifying which is being called for, amplifying that part of your personality, and toning down the other.

it's all about using disguise in a way that helps you succeed in your role.

networking can benefit from a spy-like approach as well.

instead of grabbing a drink and chatting to the first person you bump into, spies and smart salespeople will take their time to first observe the room.

they'll note the popular ones who require more effort to approach.

they'll spot the wallflowers who are easier to approach.

then they'll walk around, take note of name tags, and see if they spot any unique opportunities.

maybe there's a name that suggests a cultural familiarity, which would provide an opportunity for a quick connection.

good salespeople are strategic in choosing who to engage with, and this spotting technique is a powerful tool for building rapport and making meaningful contact.

lastly, let's think about your superpowers.

you may not think of your personal hobbies, passions, or interests as a superpower, but they can be when it comes to building strong connections and loyal client relationships.

it may sound like a cliche, but it's nonetheless true that strong bonds are still formed on golf courses and ski slopes, but these aren't the limits of the kind of interests that can form useful bonds.

maybe there's a charity you're passionate about.

maybe you love dogs, scuba diving, or european history.

any of these things can be a superpower when it allows you to steer a conversation into an area of expertise.

when you speak with confidence and from the heart, you will be exercising your superpower and engaging with others in a way that is indeed rare and special.

so don't be afraid to use it, and don't be afraid to go out of your comfort zone in order to broaden your interests and strengthen your arsenal of superpowers.

remember, knowing when to deploy your superpowers requires being a good listener, which is perhaps the most important skill any salesperson and spy can have.

learning to engage more effectively with those around us can unlock unexpected opportunities in both your personal and professional life.

practice these skills and techniques, and let's see what superpowers you can unlock.

the main takeaway of this chapter to sell like a spy by jeremy hurwitz is that the powerful interpersonal skills that spies use can be readily applied in sales and relationship building.

spies aren't just action heroes.

they are master relationship managers who understand the nuances of human behavior.

they practice radical empathy, focusing on a person's humanity rather than their flaws, and use vulnerability to forge deep relationships and use vulnerability to forge deeper connections.

spies and salespeople succeed through active listening and strategic communication.

techniques like elicitation, mirroring, and being keen observers of nonverbal cues can be used to help win over clients.

by tailoring conversations to match your counterpart's interests and utilizing your own passions and hobbies, you can build strong bonds more effectively.

the goal for salespeople and spies is to develop long-term relationships that are based on empathy, mutual respect, and a deep understanding of your target's emotional needs.

okay, that's it for this chapter.

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see you in the next chapter.