You Be You

you’re here for a reason. whether you realize it or not, something within you has sparked a desire for change – real, lasting change. maybe you’ve felt trapped by expectations, weighed down by doubts, or disconnected from your true self for too long. if so, it’s time to shift. deep inside, your authentic self is ready to rise, and while the process may be challenging, it’s also where your greatest potential lives.

true transformation isn’t about quick fixes or superficial changes. it’s about stripping away the limits imposed on you, embracing who you are at your core, and committing to a journey that reconnects you with your purpose. this isn’t an easy path, but it’s one worth taking.

in this chapter, you’ll learn how to break free from societal programming, trust your intuition, cultivate momentum through positive habits, and step fully into your light. prepare to embrace the messy, rewarding journey of becoming your truest self.

have you ever looked at your life and wondered, “is this really it?” on paper, things might seem fine – you have a good job, a comfortable lifestyle, and all the external markers of success. but deep down, something feels off. 

you’re not alone. many people find themselves in this position, feeling disconnected from their true selves and stuck in a life that doesn’t reflect who they are at their core. the first step toward breaking free from this cycle isn’t about external change; it’s about making a deep and unwavering commitment to align your life with your authentic self.

real transformation begins when you decide to take control of your life, break free from external influences, and reconnect with who you are at your core. the key is to stop relying on societal markers of success – like wealth, status, approval – and instead build a life that resonates with your unique purpose. you’re not going to make vague resolutions – you need to make a firm, actionable decision to show up as your most authentic self in every moment.

start by evaluating where you currently stand. there’s a handy exercise called the awesomeness audit. take a moment to rate your satisfaction in key areas of life on a scale of 1 to 5. this includes friends, relationships, career, finances, health, home life, and spiritual path. be honest. this isn’t about judgment but clarity. once you’ve scored each area, ask yourself how life would look if things were easier and aligned with your desires. what would your ideal career, relationships, and health look like? use this vision as a starting point for change.

another helpful exercise is to manifest your meditations. take five to ten minutes to meditate in a quiet space, focusing on your breath and letting go of everyday worries. then, make two lists: one for what’s working in your life and one for what isn’t. for each challenge, write down an ideal outcome and a clear statement of commitment. this will help you focus on the actions needed to bring your vision to life.

committing to personal authenticity isn’t about fixing everything at once – it’s about starting, staying honest, and taking deliberate actions toward alignment. once you commit fully, you’ll notice opportunities begin to arise, and life starts to shift in meaningful ways.

djamel was a successful aerospace engineer, earning good money and climbing the ranks quickly. on the surface, he appeared to have it all, but something didn’t feel right. despite his professional success, djamel felt unfulfilled. it wasn’t until a candid discussion about his motivations that he realized he had been pursuing a life designed to meet his family’s expectations, not his own. 

this realization sparked a complete shift in his life, helping him leave behind a career that no longer aligned with his authentic self. djamel found his true calling in health and personal development, eventually becoming the ceo of a company dedicated to helping others transform their lives. his experience illustrates a key idea: true fulfillment comes from discovering your “whydentity” – the deeper purpose that guides your life.

your whydentity is more than your identity. it’s who you are when your actions and purpose are fully aligned, a deeper version of yourself that feels authentic and true. many people find themselves stuck in lives that check all the right societal boxes – high-paying jobs, material success, social recognition – but still feel off-balance. often, that’s because their goals aren’t aligned with their genuine desires but with external expectations. rediscovering your purpose means stepping away from what society expects and connecting with the version of yourself that feels deeply right.

start by reflecting on where you are right now. ask yourself: are you living a life that truly feels like yours, or are you following a path shaped by what others expect of you? if you sense a gap between your current reality and who you really are, it’s time to take action.

try the write from the future exercise. picture yourself five years from now, living fully from your purpose. write a detailed journal entry describing your life – what changes you’ve made, how you feel, and who you’re impacting. once you’ve written it, keep it visible as a daily reminder of where you’re headed.

discovering your whydentity isn’t about perfection; it’s about continuous alignment. in the next section, you’ll learn how to stay steadfast when this alignment gets challenging. 

after starting on the path to change, the initial excitement often wears off. progress can feel slow, doubts start creeping in, and you might begin questioning whether it’s worth continuing. you may even feel tempted to go back to the familiar – your old routines, old habits, and old self. this period of doubt and discomfort, which we can call the messy middle, is a normal part of any transformation process. it’s also the point where many people give up.

embracing the messy middle means confronting the thoughts and emotions that make you want to quit. instead of seeing this phase as something negative, recognize it as a necessary step toward real change. everyone experiences moments of fear, discouragement, and frustration when they step outside their comfort zone. the key is to meet these feelings with compassion. you aren’t failing by feeling doubt – you’re actually on the right track.

when you feel overwhelmed, try this: write down three to five negative emotions you’re experiencing. be as specific as possible. then, rewrite each one in a more positive, empowering way. for example, if you’re feeling overwhelmed, reframe it as, “i am grateful for the opportunity to grow.” this will help shift your mindset and remind you that you’re in control of how you respond to challenges.

you can also try setting limits on how long you allow yourself to feel negative emotions. it’s important to process your emotions, but staying in them too long can trap you in a negative cycle. decide on a time frame – whether it’s five minutes or an hour – to feel the emotions, then commit to moving forward afterward.

transformation isn’t about avoiding discomfort but about learning to move through it with self-compassion and purpose. by reframing challenges as opportunities for growth, you can keep progressing toward the life you want.

at some point in any significant personal change, fear shows up. it’s that moment when you step into the unknown, everything feels uncertain, and the urge to retreat to familiar, comfortable patterns becomes overwhelming. maybe it’s leaving behind a job that no longer fulfills you or ending a relationship that no longer aligns with who you are. the fear of stepping into something new can be intense, but it’s also necessary. 

fear doesn’t have to stop you in your tracks. instead, it can become a tool for progress – you just have to view it differently. think of fear as standing for “false evidence appearing real” – a reminder that many fears are based on imagined threats rather than reality. there are two possible responses to fear: “forget everything and run” or “face everything and rise.” the choice is always in your hands. by seeing fear as a chance to rise rather than retreat, you can transform it into a force that pushes you toward growth and new opportunities.

one of the most common fears people face is the fear of their own potential and authenticity. fully stepping into who you are requires taking full responsibility for your life – which means no more hiding behind old habits or making excuses. while this can feel overwhelming, staying inauthentic only keeps you stuck. confronting this fear can open the door to personal growth and even strengthen relationships, as addressing limiting beliefs often brings clarity and deeper connection with others.

another significant fear is the fear of change. leaving behind familiar routines and stepping into the unknown can feel destabilizing, but change is essential for progress. facing this fear begins with small, consistent actions. reflect on what excites you about the change you want and why it’s meaningful, and use that as motivation to keep moving forward.

fear, when embraced, can be a tool for empowerment. it all depends on how you look at it. 

so, you’ve identified your purpose, clarified what truly matters, and begun aligning your life accordingly. but how do you bridge the gap between where you are and where you want to be? 

this is where creating a soul map comes in – an approach that involves envisioning your purpose-driven future while transcending linear notions of time. the idea is simple: the life you dream of isn’t just a distant possibility. it already exists in some form, and your job is to shift your mindset and actions to align with it.

a soul map begins with redefining time. rather than seeing time as a rigid, forward-moving line, view it as fluid, with your ideal life existing as a parallel reality you can access through intentional thought and action. the tool for this process is vision casting – imagining a detailed and vivid version of your future self who is already living your purpose. 

to make this work, your vision must be clear and specific. ask yourself: where are you living? who do you interact with daily? what does your ideal day look like, from the moment you wake up to the moment you go to bed? the more precise your vision, the more likely your mind is to accept it as achievable, prompting actions that help make it real.

this isn’t about daydreaming; it’s about creating a commitment. intentionality is key. when you practice vision casting with clarity and a sense of purpose, you trigger a shift in your subconscious and emotional state, which helps guide your choices toward your envisioned future. you’re also encouraged to identify what you don’t want, so you can recognize misaligned habits, environments, or relationships and let go of them.

to support your progress, try segment intending, a tool that helps you take control of specific portions of your day by setting clear intentions for each segment. whether it’s your morning routine or your commute, you can consciously shape your experiences, ensuring each moment aligns with your overall vision. and don’t forget the importance of gratitude – acknowledging what’s going right helps amplify the positive momentum.

by consistently practicing these techniques, you’ll keep your vision front and center. next, we’ll learn how to build lasting momentum, by reinforcing positive habits and staying committed to steady, meaningful progress.

in any journey of personal growth, there comes a moment when progress feels less thrilling and more like a daily grind. this is where momentum becomes essential. sustaining change requires consistent action and deliberate habits. to keep moving forward, you need to reinforce positive routines and embrace setbacks as learning opportunities.

a key part of maintaining momentum is trusting your intuition, even if you haven’t always relied on it before. building a connection to your intuition can begin through dreamwork. start by keeping a journal by your bed, recording any dreams and emotions you recall each morning. before you sleep, ask your subconscious specific questions and notice if your dreams provide any guidance. this practice helps you tap into a part of your mind often overlooked in daily life.

meditation is another powerful tool to calm your mind and strengthen focus. it doesn’t need to be complicated – simply experiment with different styles until you find what works best for you. whether it’s sitting quietly with a mantra or taking a mindful walk, regular meditation lowers stress, sharpens decision-making, and helps you stay connected to your purpose.

when setbacks happen – and they will – remember that failure is only permanent if you give up. instead of viewing missteps as the end of the road, treat them as lessons. whether it’s a failed relationship, a missed job opportunity, or a personal goal that didn’t go as planned, every experience offers valuable knowledge that can propel you forward. the key is to stay committed, make adjustments, and keep going.

another strategy is to visualize your achievements. imagine a trophy room filled with symbols of your successes – both big and small. use this visualization to celebrate past wins and set new goals. commit to three tasks you’ve been avoiding and reward yourself when they’re completed.

ultimately, building momentum is about consistency, resilience, and self-belief. as you continue reinforcing positive habits, you’ll discover that sustained change is not only possible but inevitable.

the main takeaway of this chapter to you be you by drew canole is that lasting personal change happens when you align your actions with your authentic purpose, build momentum through consistent positive habits, and view setbacks as valuable lessons rather than failures. 

transformation is a continuous process of showing up, trusting your intuition, and staying committed to your vision, even when progress feels slow. by embracing daily routines, seeking clarity, and maintaining gratitude, you create steady forward motion. every small, deliberate step contributes to long-term success. so stay resilient, keep trusting yourself, and remember that each day presents a new opportunity to grow closer to the life you truly want. the journey is yours – just keep moving forward.

okay, that’s it for this chapter. we hope you enjoyed it. if you can, please take the time to leave us a rating – we always appreciate your feedback. see you in the next chapter.