No Mud, No Lotus

in the buddhist tradition, it’s said that pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional. 

yet how often do we find ourselves mired in mental turmoil, turning a momentary setback into an epic tale of personal failure? how often do we abandon ourselves in moments of difficulty, reaching for the nearest distraction instead of attending to the truth of the moment?

that’s where mindful presence comes in. 

in this chapter, you’ll discover the wisdom of the body and learn to leverage it as an ally in your journey toward wholeness. whether you’re a seasoned meditator or simply curious, you’ll be invited to rethink your relationship with discomfort and embrace a more authentic – and ultimately more easeful – way of being.

the human mind is a peculiar thing. it can solve differential equations and compose symphonies, yet it often struggles with something far more basic: simply being present with itself. 

most of us live with a constant stream of commentary running through our heads – an endless loop of hopes, fears, aspirations, and regrets. this thinking is supposed to help us solve our problems, but it often just adds suffering to suffering. when we ruminate over stressful thoughts, we’re caught in a cycle of feeding our own pain.

in our discomfort, we reach for the nearest distraction. maybe it’s mindless scrolling through social media, binge-watching netflix, or making another trip to the refrigerator despite not being hungry. these modern comfort behaviors promise relief but deliver only temporary numbness. like taking painkillers for a broken bone without getting it set properly, we’re masking symptoms while the underlying injury continues to worsen. and in our constant flight from suffering, we become physically disconnected. 

our bodies are continually sending us emotional messages. left unattended, these notifications pile up. so when we finally pause long enough to face our suffering, the intensity can feel overwhelming. this is often the moment when we scramble for distractions again, convinced that we can’t handle whatever we may discover. but this very reaction reveals an important truth: we’ve become strangers to ourselves, afraid of our own inner landscape. picture a crying child being handed an ipad instead of a hug – that’s how many of us treat our own emotional pain.

so, what’s the way forward? a gradual, mindful embrace of your experience. by turning toward your experience with open and nonjudgemental awareness, you can begin to untangle the knots of suffering that bind you. 

think of a mother’s instinctive wisdom with a crying baby. she doesn’t try to argue the baby out of its tears. instead, she simply holds it, creating a space of safety where its distress can exist without judgment. in this space, the baby calms down. similarly, you can learn to hold your own suffering with gentle awareness. when you do this, you acknowledge your emotion’s message. and it stops shouting at you.

how can you create a regular space to listen to what your body is saying? well, one approach is to establish consistent reminders throughout your day – your “bells of mindfulness.” these don’t have to be actual bells; they could be any regular occurrence – the sound of your phone ringing, stopping at a red light, or walking through a particular doorway at work. 

when you encounter these triggers, use them as invitations to pause and take a few conscious breaths. it’s like creating little pockets of stillness in your day, moments when you step off the mental treadmill and check in with yourself. 

the beauty of this practice lies in its simplicity – you’re not trying to change anything. you’re not trying to achieve a particular state. you’re just briefly stepping out of the stream of doing and into a moment of being. 

even just three mindful breaths can help reunite a scattered mind with the present moment. over time, these small pauses will become anchors, helping you maintain a more continuous connection with your body and its wisdom throughout the day.

when strong emotions arise, we often get caught in their turbulence. the good news is, there’s a simple but powerful practice for managing these emotional storms. 

begin by lying down or sitting comfortably in a chair, or on a meditation cushion. place a hand on your belly. focus your attention on the rising and falling sensations of your abdomen as you breathe deeply. try not to get wrapped up in an analysis of the emotion. instead, repeatedly bring your mind down to the level of physical sensation at your navel. with each inhale, notice your belly rising; with each exhale, feel it falling. 

that’s it.

it may seem too easy to be effective, but this intentional focus on breath serves as an anchor, creating a stable foundation amid any turmoil. a tree’s branches may thrash violently in high winds, while its trunk remains steady. likewise, your thoughts and emotions can whirl chaotically while you observe them – maintaining groundedness through mindful breathing.

try practicing this awareness regularly instead of waiting until you’re in the grip of overwhelming feelings. by cultivating this skill during calm moments, you can develop the confidence and capability to weather emotional storms when they come.

and remember, emotions are temporary visitors: they arrive, stay for a while, and eventually depart.

pain is an inevitable part of life. but suffering? that’s often optional. while major losses – the death of a loved one, serious illness, genuine tragedy – bring real, unavoidable pain, we spend an astonishing amount of our emotional energy resisting smaller difficulties. and in doing so, we inadvertently amplify them until they loom like giants in our minds.

think about the last time you lay awake worrying about a coworker’s offhand comment, or that presentation that didn’t go quite as planned. these relatively minor setbacks can hijack your mental space, consuming more emotional bandwidth than their importance warrants. 

the buddhist concept of “the two arrows” illustrates this dynamic. the first arrow represents life’s unavoidable pains: failure, loss, injury, rejection. but then comes the second arrow – and this one is entirely self-inflicted. it’s the story you tell yourself about your pain, the anxiety and resistance you layer on top of it, the catastrophizing that turns a stumble into a fall into an imagined lifetime of failure.

if you lose your job, for instance, that’s a first arrow – a genuine setback with real consequences. but the second arrow? that’s when you start spinning stories: “i’ll never find another position,” “i’ve let everyone down,” “this proves i’m not good enough.” these mental narratives can multiply your suffering tenfold, creating a spiral of anxiety that far exceeds the scope of the original problem.

the key to managing this lies in mindfulness – the practice of staying present with what’s actually happening. in any given moment, multiple realities exist simultaneously. yes, you might be dealing with a difficult situation, but your eyes and hands still work. the sun still rises. beauty still exists in the world. 

even in your darkest moments, there are countless conditions for happiness. the simple act of breathing, the ability to hear a bird singing, the sensation of warm sunlight on your face – these small miracles continue, regardless of your current challenges. 

this practice isn’t about denying pain – on the contrary. but it is about preventing your pain from becoming all-consuming. essentially, it’s about developing the skill to hold both pain and joy in the same moment. 

when you can feel the sting of the first arrow without reaching for the second, you’ll know you’ve created a more sustainable relationship with suffering. and you’ll be able to conserve your emotional energy for life’s truly significant challenges – those rare moments that really deserve it.

in the grand comedy of human nature, we spend half our lives comparing ourselves to others – and the other half recovering from the comparisons.

at the heart of human suffering lies a persistent illusion: the belief in a separate, isolated self. this belief acts like a prism, splitting our experience into endless comparisons and creating a constant stream of mental suffering. we become trapped in an exhausting dance of measuring ourselves against others, each comparison reinforcing our sense of separation and deepening our distress.

some of us climb onto the pedestal of superiority, finding fleeting comfort in thoughts like, i’m better than them. others sink into the pit of inferiority, convinced they’ll never measure up. still others obsess over equality, turning life into an endless series of comparisons and adjustments. each approach, while different on the surface, springs from the same root – our deep-seated belief in a separate self we must defend.

maybe you’re wondering, well, what’s so bad about pursuing equality? so let’s be more specific. social equality – fair access to resources and opportunities – is crucial for a just society. but the psychological drive to constantly prove ourselves “as good as” others is a different matter. it keeps us trapped in an exhausting cycle of self-comparison, where we’re still operating from that painful place of separation and insecurity.

in the end, comparisons are always futile and unsatisfying. they can never give us what we’re really seeking. everything in life is temporary, including our successes and failures, our moments of feeling superior and inferior. today’s victory becomes tomorrow’s forgotten memory; today’s crushing defeat often transforms into next year’s valuable lesson. no matter how many times we “win” at the comparison game, it’ll never bring lasting satisfaction because we’re trying to solve an internal problem with external metrics.

true freedom comes from releasing the need for comparison altogether. instead of exhausting ourselves with comparisons, we can learn to rest in the present moment, acknowledging both its difficulties and its gifts. 

this doesn’t mean ignoring the injustices of the world. but it means addressing these issues from a place of wholeness rather than separation. like waves in the ocean, we can be distinctly ourselves while remaining fundamentally connected to what’s around us.

the simple act of walking creates a secret: every step is a homecoming. 

in our rush to find success and fulfillment, we forget that life takes place only in the present moment. and that’s why walking meditation is so effective – it transforms our everyday steps into moments of stillness. 

so stand up, wherever you are. as you breathe in, take two steps while silently noting, i have arrived. as you breathe out, take three steps while noting, i am home. your natural breathing sets the pace – you may need two steps for an inhale, maybe three. the rhythm should feel effortless and organic.

this practice invites you to walk without destination, transforming each step into an opportunity to touch the earth with mindfulness and presence. while quiet parks and beautiful spaces provide an ideal starting point, walking meditation can be adapted to any environment. from city streets to office corridors, each step can bring you back to peace. 

walking meditation helps you reclaim your freedom from the constant pull of past and future, creating a refuge from worries and fears. your feet already know the way to presence – they’re just waiting for your mind to catch up.

the main takeaway of this chapter to no mud, no lotus by thich nhat hanh is that mindfulness serves as a transformative practice for navigating life’s challenges with less suffering.

key to this practice is embodied presence – returning to your physical experience instead of getting lost in mental narratives that amplify your distress. 

when you attempt to evade discomfort, whether it’s through your phone or losing yourself in thought, you create a buildup of stress and a backlog of unprocessed emotions. but by practicing mindfulness, you’ll learn to turn toward your experience with open and nonjudgmental awareness – and hold your suffering like a parent would hold their child. 

ok, that’s it for this chapter. we hope you enjoyed it. if you can, please take the time to leave us a rating – we always appreciate your feedback! see you soon.